We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
