so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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