Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
