that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
