Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
