I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
