I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
