best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
