the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
