I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
