We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
