I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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