I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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