Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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