Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
