So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
