cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
