yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
