$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Farmville is her only friend.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
