just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
