Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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