Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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