sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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