you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
