If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
