her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
