I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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