There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
