Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
