Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
