Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
