Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
