it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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