just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
