Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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