My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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