I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
