Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Hippo gnu deer
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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