Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
