I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
