when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
