Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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