Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
