where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
