you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
