Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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