Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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