Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
