guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
