I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
